Bad ChoosersBy K.L. CasadoThe tired cliche has rung throughout the halls of maternity wards andlaw firms for years. “The Battle of the Sexes” as it is called; the everlastingstruggle for supremacy among men and women.
However, in the wider scope ofevents, how easy one’s life is would ideally be more important than how supremeone is. Just ask Colin Powell or maybe even a reincarnate Kurt Cobain. It doesnot matter much if you’re the top dog if your a top dog with an uncomfortablelife. Maybe the important conflict is not which is superior, but rather whichgender proceeds through life more easily. The question remains then: Which?It would be impossible here, given the talents of even this writer, toname a clear victor.
Scholars and philosophers for years have attempted to doso, yet no gender has ever been definitely identified. However, the clearvictor here should be the female. From start to finish, with a layover at childbirth, women tend to live easier lives.
Men run the government. Men go to war.Men encounter more obligation inside and out of the family.
When looking at specific instances, life may equally challenge the two.Both must acquire food. It is noteworthy that men generally eat more than women.
United States law mandates that both complete a certain amount of schooling.Both must toil through the identity crisis of adolescence, followed by the mid-life crisis of aging, and lastly, the mortality crisis in their elder years.There is a great possibility that both must appropriate wealth, provided theyare not substinence farmers living in some foreign country that does not tax (Inwhich case, the man would slave away in the fields from dusk until dawn whilethe woman would wash a dish, tie their eighteen ignorant children down to achair and show them the beauty of using a hula-hoe).
Men and women share manyhardships throughout the progression of their lives. However, men havegenerally acknowledged them and taken responsibility accordingly, while womenhave continually inflicted even more troubles upon themselves.The familiar fancy of a fellow goes as follows: The man works, makes aliving to support his family, provides food and shelter and accepts a positionas the head of the family. A majority of jobs are not fulfilling. A man’sexistence at work is scarcely a spiritual uplift and ordinarily may be drainingand exhausting. Even more distressing is a man’s dependence on such, forbearing the responsibility for his naked family’s hunger might be a bitdisheartening.
Exempting the guttedly-challenged, a man must also assumeleadership of his home, governing and supervising the affairs therein (an actionnecessary as the dominant gender, but this topic shall be saved for a latertime). A man endures many calamities outside of family-lock as well. Thenatural pursuant of companionship is the man. That is not to say that women donot do their own, voluntary, share, but who is typically the initial solicitor,delivers the flowers and eventually looked upon for a proposal? This aspect ofmale life is among the most trying of all.
A man rarely finds emotionalcompanionship here. He serves as his own confidant and council. He must dealwith his significantly stronger sexual tendencies, especially, given today’ssociety, in the workplace. In the working world, an aspiring young man’semployment is most likely flushed down into the likes of McDonald’s or HighSchool “Janitorial Administration.” Although, one must acknowledge the glaringexception of those promoted to fry-boy or window washer.
In direct contrast to the dismal drudgery endured by the conventionalmale, there is the potential luxury of being a woman. It is stereotypically awoman’s position, while the children go to school, to stay home, go shopping,watch television (including her favorite soap operas), and do whatever comes tomind the rest of the day. Theoretically, a woman’s day is complete andsatisfying. Should she feel sheltered or isolated, she is fully welcome toventure out and about among society. Should she feel incomplete or hollow, sheis wholly able to stay home and reinforce her roots and foundation. A woman mayindulge herself at a local mall or in a gallon of ice cream. In contrast to men,women are known to find serenity in accessible material goods, such as a newblouse or fresh shade of lipstick.
Men, on the other hand, want a Ferrari orthey want to cry like a little girl. Women are more easily pleased. A woman’sobligation to the household is minimal. Thanks to modern conveniences, she nolonger has to cook.
Rather, dinner may be defrosted. A couple of buttons needpushing and so ended is her daily onus. Breakfast for the kids? Pop Tarts andNutri-Grains, maybe an egg if she feels generous. The invention of paper platesand plastic silverware (bare hands may be a bit barbaric and uncleanly) has putan end to washing dishes, given that whatever was defrosted did not come withone. The washer and dryer have reduced the laundering of garments fromwashboard and suds to dropping them into a basin and turning a knob.Furthermore, once the children reach five or six years of age, they can beexpected to wash their own clothing. To maintain a sanitary environment, awoman might find an annual house cleaning necessary.
Before marriage, women can enjoy an accommodating and comfortablelifestyle. If not, at least one which is more agreeable than that of men. Atthis stage, a large majority of women are approached and sought after for theiryoung, attractive bodies, keen ability to defrost, and companionship (in noapparent order of importance). Such instances are undoubtedly flattering towomen.
Consequently, morale is substantially boosted. Those not routinelysought after, admittedly, may be paling in self-esteem, but remunerate theirgrievances by eating however much of whatever they so choose. Women are knownto have considerably more intimate relations with friends, especially out ofwedlock. Those individuals serve as emotional outlets, an opulence foreign to avast majority of men.
Not only does this explain man’s extensive knowledge ofbeer, but also why women are more emotionally sound and content at this point.A female, contrary once again to a male, has no trouble financially supportingherself in a respectable manner by recording telephone messages and brewingcoffee, officiating senior citizen shuffleboard competitions, or possiblyexploiting men for their natural inclinations at a local entertainment tavern.The facility of the woman’s life trickles down from marriage and pre-marital life all the way to adolescence. Boys must endure the painstaking andhumiliating transition to manhood. The male cannot hide his cracking speech orhis sullied lip.
Undoubtedly, this will be noticed and vocally editorialized athome. “Hey, look and listen, Mom!” Father will exclaim. “The boy’s hitpuberty!” Any man can attest to the wretchedness of this situation, or perhapsthe time he forgot to lock the bathroom and his little sister just had to take ashower. He must also request shaving equipment, a guaranteed publicannouncement, one that might as well be published in the classifieds.
Females,on the other hand, are far more sheltered and protected at home. “Aw, look,honey,” Mother will sigh, “Your daughter is blooming (heaven forbid she receivethe ever so viscious “developing”) into a beautiful, young lady.” She asks, asdiscreetly as a Central Intelligence operation, for an extra piece of clothing,a piece of cotton, and a pill. No one ever knows the difference.
School arises as an even more dire situation. For every boy except themutant freak who was done in sixth grade, the junior high locker room is amerciless and perverse place. The heartless jokes there do not even meetappropriateness standards of this paper.
Females do not fare quite as badly.Although I can not admit to any first hand knowledge of the junior high girlslocker room, it is my understanding that as long as one maintains healthy andclean hygienic habits, they are not harassed, at least not to the extent ofthose across the gymnasium.The troubles for women arise when they refuse to accept the comfortableposition as people with easy lives and choose to complicate them.
Many womenchoose to assume authority in their household. This is not necessary. The men,power hungry and dictatorial when feasible, often can perform the taskadequately themselves and sometimes have no problem accepting this duty.
Formany, there is no true need to work if they are married. An immeasurable amountof women choose to cook for their family, routinely! Some even proceed toprepare breakfast. In today’s society, food is readily purchased, many times,for a price less than cooking. “Microwaveable Dinners, The Wave of the Future!”the announcements read. They choose to make use of actual dishes. Sheerfoolishness! Microwaveable dinners come on disposable trays.
No dishes, nomess, no nothing. Women choose to adopt the washing of their family’s clothingas yet another unnecessary chore. As if clothing needed routine washing, theydo not even force their children, grown-up or not, to do it themselves, furtherinstilling ideals of discipline in them. Women are irresponsible in many of thechoices they make.
Despite already thrusting hardships upon themselves, they decide to gofurther. Women routinely maintain the cleanliness of their house. The reasonfor doing so confounds all laws of practicality. Dirty houses are morecomfortable. Whenever something is needed, one can look on the ground somewhere.
It is done usually to improve the parental image, whether that image be aguest’s or their own. There are few guests, it would seem, who would be worthcleaning your house for. If one receives more respect for tidiness, the sourceof that respect needs to be very closely examined. As far as personal imagegoes, it would seem practical to base one’s image of herself on something maybemore significant than having one’s clothes picked up and the dust off one’spiano.
The sentiment that women offer extraneous credence to self image andthus bring troubles upon themselves is further reflected with the habitual useof cosmetics. This is not necessary. Especially to household prone women,cosmetics are wasted energy and money. Unbetrothed women not applying cosmeticsare not always avoided, but rather pursued even more vehemently by men who findpracticality attractive. Even worse is the state of mind dedicated cosmeticusers put themselves in when unable to apply them. “I look like crap,” they’llwhine.